What You've Got

Creative Ideas for Life and Events

Archive for the category “Effective Parenting”

Going Crazy When Your Kids Misbehave? Here Are Five Truths to Keep You Sane

All parents want their kids to behave but there are times when our little tyke just messes up. When that happens, we either feel worthless or also mess up as parents. We strive to do our best, but sometimes we blow things up.

There is no need to suffer when you can’t control your kids. Here are five important truths to keep your cool.

1. Your kid’s misbehavior does not define your value as a parent 

God has entrusted your wonderful kids because He knows you are the perfect parents for them. Now, time for some generalities: all kids misbehave and disobey from time to time, and all parents suffer from low self-worth and feel inadequate from time to time. I have looked for parents who know what to do in every given situation, but have found none. All parents make mistakes.

While it’s correct to say we shouldn’t ignore our kids’ misbehavior (although there are specific circumstances where we can do that) , we also should not take it personally when our kids don’t listen, or fight each other, or  throw a fit when we are about to eat dinner. Their misbehavior is very irritating, but it helps when we keep our cool and understand what’s going on. So know what they’re up to, help them, but don’t blame yourself. They’re growing up, and they’re kids.

2. Your kids need unconditional love, just like anyone else

What is unconditional love? Even trying to define it is difficult but you can say it is showing love no matter what. When you make it your goal every day you will be doing great favor for your kids. Loving them unconditionally even during terrible times when you’d rather like to punch them in the face will tell them you love them and accept them for who they are.

My two little boys did all kinds of misbehavior when they were younger that most of the time I literally become a monster ready to eat them. That was usually before bedtime. Frustrated with anger, I would send them to bed and tell them to go to sleep quickly, before I got the chance to swallow them up.

While at it, they’d ask, “Mama, can you first tell us a story before we sleep, please”?

And I’d go like, “You want me to change from this angry monster into a storyteller, THAT quick? Do you know how extremely difficult and frustrating that is”?

And I’d proceed with my recitation on how they’d been so unruly and got me real banged on the head, groggy with anger and frustration, blah, blah, blah.

They’d usually drift slowly to sleep and I’d just go on, “blah, blah, blah.”What a wonderful way to bring two kids to dreamland. I can just imagine how many nightmares they got during those nights.

I must have a different way to respond to things but that should never be an excuse. I lost too many opportunities to show my kids that I love and accept them despite their unacceptable behaviour.

We can all strive to seek to love our kids unconditionally. If we fail, we must try to do it again.

3. No misbehaviour is innocent

What motivates your child to act a certain way?

Usually, it has something to do with meeting his or her needs according to how he sees himself and life in general. There is an inner need for each child to fit in and stand out. The more you understand him, the more you can help him behave in a beneficial, considerate and useful way and not just have his own way.

4. You don’t own your kids, sorry

It’s okay to call them “my kids,” but the fact remains that first, they are just gifts of God to us, and second, each of them are their own, unique person. We should look at them that way. This means they are ours to nurture, raise, protect and develop into wonderful adults later on.

If you help your kids discover their strengths and encourage and develop them in such areas, you have most of the job done. You will always want to affirm what they do well including the little things. By the time they approach adolescence, they will have a healthier sense of self and will be more ready to face the adult. That’s because you helped them know they were somebody who fits in and have something to give to the world around them.

5. You shouldn’t let your kids run your home, ever!

Each member of the family has a particularly important role to make it functional and no one member is more important than everybody else. This means even parents are not supposed to place their personal wants over the good of the entire household, unless those are the same thing; and even when kids are taken care of, they shouldn’t in any way be spoiled to the point of interrupting the entire family system.

Mom, you can actually stop preparing a different meal every time one person changes what he wants for breakfast. My two kids, for example, want different things every time. What I do is let them choose from what has already been prepared. I notice that when I consistently do that they usually comply (otherwise they eat nothing)but when I’m lenient and let them have their way everything gets disrupted such as our budget, schedules and plans.

Maintain schedule and order in your home and let your kids stick to them. For some of us this is a challenge but unless we do it, we can never keep our sanity.

What do you usually do when your kids misbehave? Share your experiences and ideas here so we can discuss, and subscribe to my list to get updates. Also, you might want to check out some more helpful tips on my Facebook Page.

Advertisements

Five Proven Tips to Get Your Kids to Read

You can turn your home into a fun and favorite place to read. Here are some things I’m pretty sure you can connect with. Get fresh ideas and get reminded of things you probably have already done. Enjoy!

1. Make reading fun both for you and your kids. If you get your kids to enjoy reading, they will keep on doing it. Let’s take this even further – if you get your kids to love books, you would keep them reading. Skill is just secondary; make the activity an adventure, fun and pleasurable. Once they enjoy doing it, they will eventually develop the skills – without the fuss.

 2. Let them catch you read. Don’t make this common mistake among parents – to read only when kids are neatly tucked in bed. How will they ever know you even read at all? Get caught. Discuss a part of any reading with them or with your spouse. Talk about books while they are listening around. They will read by your example.

“Family With Two Children” by Ambro

3. Read aloud. Imagine sitting your child on your lap while reading his or her favorite story aloud. Your child will associate reading with intimacy. A lot of times, it is not really what you read to him, but the precious opportunity this kind of activity provides – it just draws both of you towards each other. Even an infant will coo when you do that.

4. Schedule trips to the bookstore or the local library . You can’t have all the books at home but you can treat your kids to a feast of ideas.

I always bring my kids to a local book sale and they love it. They sit quietly on the floor with their chosen reads. I pair that with the privilege to choose their own books at a small budget, and boy, are they always more than excited about that. Sometimes you can also bring them to a local library for a sumptuous read.

5. Catch your kids read and affirm them every time. You have been hoping and trying hard for them to do it – celebrate with them when they do. Appreciate them when they open a book, or join the conversation with them when they talk about anything they have read.

Any more ideas you can add to my list? I will post some more next time but I’m pretty sure you have your own brilliant tips. Meanwhile, take time to try these five tips to get your kids to read and tell me what happens. Be sure to connect with me on my Facebook Page and let us altogether learn.

 

 

 

Post Navigation

%d bloggers like this: